WHEN BEING WHITE IS HEARTBREAKING

A couple of days ago I was speaking to a very close friend of mine. We've been friends and colleagues for a number of years. He has three beautiful children; a seven year old son and two younger daughters. He's a very proud and educated man. He's has achieved a high rank in the military and is very involved in his local church and community. Recently, his son was talking to his wife and he said, "Mom, I wish I was White." She asked him why and he answered, "Because they are better than us." When my friend Jamal told me this it hurt my heart. I'm sure it hurt his even more. He said upon hearing this from his wife, he was almost brought to tears. He immediately took his son in private and talked to him. He showed him a photo of Barak Obama and explained to him absolutely no one is better than him and that his skin color has nothing to do with his value. He told him to look at President Obama as an example of someone who could be anything he wants to be despite the color of his skin.

That is a particular facet of the Obama presidency that is lost on a lot of people. It symbolizes a lot more than him just being another "Black First." Because White males have traditionally dominated positions of power and seats of vocal influence, many Black kids (myself included) erroneously grew up feeling that there are two worlds of possibilities; the heights that White children can achieve and the limited opportunities given to those that are Black. For example, when I was a child in the 1980's and 1990's, I would've never ever believed America would field a Black president in my lifetime. Yes, my thinking was that limited. Most of those in my generation would tell a similar testimony if they were honest.

After we spoke for sometime about this, I began to think about how a little boy who lives in a stable home with both of his parents in a nice middle-class neighborhood could come to the conclusion that his Black skin was still a sign of inferiority in the 2015. Furthermore, this is occurring while someone of his same skin color is actually occupying the highest office in the land. Think about that for a minute. It would have to come from other sources of learning that he's exposed to.

Let's be honest, our children are by and large influenced by their peers and television shows/movies. It is from these sources that their minds are infiltrated and shaped. I always harp on the ways that Black people are represented in mass media and all forms of entertainment. Here's proof that we have a long way to go. Television shows, news reports, movies, and even cartoons are still saturated with images of Black men and women that are foolish, silly, unattractive, dimwitted, lazy, sexually driven, gullible, hot-tempered, violent, loud, illiterate, emotional, etc. They are more commonly portrayed as slaves, cheap labor, criminals, gang members, pimps, loose women, shady religious figures, buffoons, athletes, single welfare mothers, unruly children, and poor. Children are not stupid. They are very intelligent and pick up on all of these representations of people like them. Not only this, these images are put up against representations of White people as leaders, heroes, super heroes, government officials, coaches, teachers, soldiers, geniuses, scientists, models, police officers, and the cool kids in school like the popular cheerleaders or the handsome athletes. In group settings, the White guy is the leader and the brains of the operation. If there's a Black kid, he's either a dumb hot tempered brute who is used for his strength or the clown of the group who is full of slang and witty jokes. A great example of this is the popular TV Show, The A-Team (which was remade as a feature film in 2010). In posters and advertisements of movies and TV shows that contain a majority White cast, if there is a Black person included, he/she is pictured in the back or the side. This is a clear symbol of them being minor in importance and thus included just as a form of tokenism to give an impression of diversity. Even in religions programming, the heroes and inspirational figures are always White. Not to mention how many super hero movies are filled with White people with a few Black sidekicks scattered around. When your child opens magazines, advertisements for all types of products mostly include White people with bright White teeth, White women with beautiful shiny hair, White men with large bulging muscles, White families harmoniously riding around in brand new SUV's, White children happily enjoying the latest sugary cereal, etc.

People think such things are trivial and like to minimize their importance. But when it's a society and a system that has historically portrayed your kind in an overwhelmingly favorable light, you will fail to notice it. Also when it is brought to your attention, you won't see it as the  grave issue that it truly is. Not until it is your child coming home wishing to be something other than what he/she is, will you take it seriously. It will finally break your heart to learn this because your child has been brainwashed to believe that his/her skin color entraps him/her into a life of being second best and inferior. But then again, in America, that's how things are. Nothing becomes an epidemic or serious social problem until it affects White kids.